“Anu-nobody else but you”: Valentine’s Day cards for Pacers trade targets

John Callin’ Me Sweetie

Sweet John, I hear it’s been a hard year. It’s difficult to be the only one fighting for a relationship with someone who so publicly wants something different than you. I feel you. But, “The course of love never did run smooth,” and it may just be that the love that showed itself through an unexpected run to the Eastern Conference finals was merely a shallow attachment.

I know it’s been a rough year for you, and to many, it might seem the wrong time for interest in you to be piqued, but we Pacers fans know better than to look only on the surface for the truth of your value. After all, “Love looks not with the eyes,  but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” Well, grab a paintbrush and paint me a diaper and a full quiver of heart-tipped arrows, because my mind looks upon you with love the eyes cannot comprehend.

Your current situation is tenuous, Johnny, but in Indiana, you would feel safe. Especially playing alongside another player in Myles Turner who’s recently felt the security of a new deal despite the previous insecurity of constant trade rumors. We can help you settle down. There’s no need to be jerked around all the time as you have been.

Close your eyes, sweet John. Imagine yourself looking up into the newly restored rows of fans in Gainbridge Fieldhouse and feeling utterly at home, safe, and genuinely loved. Now open your eyes. Isn’t that feeling better than what you have now? Only we Pacers can give you that. It’s time to say goodbye to the old and say hello to the new, knowing that the new will provide for you like no one could in the past.