“Anu-nobody else but you”: Valentine’s Day cards for Pacers trade targets
By Kyle Bordner
Obi My Valentine
Obi, or not Obi. That seems to be the question Tommy T is always asking himself about you. The Tommy doth protest too much, methinks. Obi, were the Knicks ready to part ways with you- and they would be crazy to throw away a real catch like you- we’re here, arms spread wide, ready to welcome you into our warm midwestern embrace.
In truth, the Knicks shouldn’t even have the opportunity to be the one to end it between you both. You deserve to be with someone who will love and cherish you, a team who will play you way more than 15 minutes per game. A team who will actually recognize all the wonderful things you do and appreciate you for those things.
I know the Knicks are your hometown team, and hey, trust me, I appreciate a man who likes to be close to his family, but there’s a big wide world out there just waiting to bring you in and make you feel special! Specifically, there’s a friendly Hoosier town in the heart of the state that is ready to open their hearts to a new love!
To be completely blunt, I think you need to be with someone else. I also think that someone else is us, the Pacers. Just picture it; You’re sprinting down the court donning the delectable blue and gold and NBA all-star Tyrese Haliburton finds you for dunk after dunk after dunk. You would fit so well with this group, Obi. For starters, pretty much everyone is exactly your age, having also been taken in the 2020 NBA draft lottery. In addition, WE NEED YOU! No one on our team is like you in terms of size and athleticism.
So, please, Obi my valentine. Find your way to Indiana, Mr. Toppin, and we’ll provide all the warm and fuzzy this February that New York just seems unwilling to provide.