The offseason allows us to create content that isn’t related to on-court basketball. Creating anagrams of all the Indiana Pacers names is one more example.
The NBA Offseason is full of great articles predicting how players will gel, teams will improve, and champions will be made. This is not one of those articles. Instead, I present to you the definitive Power Rankings of Indiana Pacers player name anagrams, arranged in descending order from hilarious to super hilarious, as voted on by a panel of experts (it’s just me, Y’all).
For those who are unaware, an anagram is a word(s) formed by rearranging the letters of another word. For example, “steam” can be rearranged to form “meats.” Now, with that vocabulary lesson out of the way, let’s get to it.
18. Tyreke Evans = Key Veterans
Okay, this one isn’t “hilarious,” but it’s a bit amusing that Tyreke’s name can be rearranged into exactly what he will be this season for the Pacers.
17. Craig (C.J.) Wilcox = A Cowgirl XCI
Yeah, he actually goes by CJ, but Craig (what the “C” stands for) worked better. Cowgirl 91 was a marked improvement over last year’s model, Cowgirl 90.
16. Alize Johnson = Ninja’s Oz Hole
The famous Fortnite Twitch streamer secretly has a stash of The Wizard of Oz memorabilia buried in a hole in his backyard. Don’t ask me how I know. I can just tell.
15. Kyle O’Quinn = Quinn: “Elk, yo.”
Pacers TV Color Commentator, Quinn Buckner, as he orders a nice elk steak from the local elk steakhouse.
14. Aaron Holiday = Idahoan Royal
An imaginary award given to Idaho’s coolest person, which I’ll go ahead and nominate Aaron Paul for.
13. Doug McDermott = DDTgourmet.com
“Doug Drives Trucks Gourmet” is the name of Doug McDermott’s fancy food truck company he’s rumored to start up after retirement (source of rumor: me).
12. Elijah Stewart = Earth Jail Stew
Hey, at least it’s Paleo.
11. Ike Anigbogu = “Oui, Bike Gang”
The answer you get from a French guy that tells you he’s in a bike gang when you ask for clarification.
10. Cory Joseph = Horse Joy PC
Beloved 90s horse raising computer simulator for those of us unlucky enough to not have horses of our own.
9. Bojan Bogdanovic = Banjo Doing Vocab
I mean, pretty self-explanatory.
8. TJ Leaf = Alf Jet
All that syndication money had to go somewhere.
7. Myles Turner = Lemur Sentry
Spin-off TV show where Zoboomafoo is tasked with guarding the nation’s most hardened criminals.
6. Darren Collison = Ironclad Loners
LARP
5. Thad Young = Gouty Hand
#NeverGoogle
4. Domantas Sabonis = Samson and Tobias
The Bible’s strongest man and a Never-Nude who’s afraid he just blue himself team up in this Buddy Cop action/comedy coming to theaters this Fall.
3. Ben Moore = Bee Moron
Not to be confused with Hugo the Hornet.
2. Victor Oladipo = Cold Poo Trivia
………Yeah.
1. Edmond Sumner = Mr. Demon Nudes
Special thanks to Jake Whitacre, whose Washington Wizards anagram article for Bullets Forever inspired me to write this one.
Did I miss any Indiana Pacers related anagrams you think are better? Send them my way on Twitter @KriegerSports.