Previewing every game of the Pacers 2017-18 season
We’re not the kind to do a season preview halfway, so we previewed every single game of the Pacers 2017-2018 season. Read on at your own risk.
I won’t spend too much time introducing this season preview, mostly because I think the title does a pretty good job on its own. Below, you’ll find a summary of every Pacers game in the 2017-2018 regular season.
It’s hard-hitting. It’s detailed. I hope you treat it with the seriousness it deserves.
Shouts to FreeDarko for previewing every game of the 2008-09 season back in the day. Let’s get right to it.
October
10/18 vs. Brooklyn Nets: The Pacers are above .500
10/20 vs. Portland Trail Blazers: The Pacers are no longer above .500
10/21 at Miami Heat: Dion Waiters somehow has the most field goal attempts for both teams.
10/24 at Minnesota Timberwolves: Confusion reigns because no one can hear the whistle over Tom Thibodeau screaming “ICE ICE ICE.”
10/25 at Oklahoma City Thunder: Nothing all that special about this one.
10/29 vs. San Antonio Spurs: Kyle Anderson accidentally spills iced tea on top of Kawhi Leonard’s circuit board. He stills drops 35 and seals the game.
10/31 vs. Sacramento Kings: Pacers win, and somehow have an extra center on the roster the next day through osmosis.
November
11/1 at Cleveland Cavaliers: The Cavs signed Jeff Green to a contract and are trying to win games.
11/3 at Philadelphia 76ers: The 76ers have their best win of the season hours before one of their core players goes down for the rest of the year.
11/5 at New York Knicks: Brand new Knick Kyrie Irving scores 49 points and records a 41 percent usage rate.
11/7 vs. New Orleans Pelicans: Bojan Bogdanovic has a nice game, winning the positional matchup against the Pelicans starting three, an actual bag of trash.
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11/8 at Detroit Pistons: The Pacers have a season high 13 steals as a team, possibly because several Pistons would rather turn the ball over than pass to Reggie Jackson.
11/10 at Chicago Bulls: Kevin Pritchard says, “See? It could have been worse.”
11/12 vs. Houston Rockets: Mike D’Antoni experiments with having Ryan Anderson spot up from Carmel to stretch the floor even further.
11/15 at Memphis Grizzlies: Something something Chandler Parsons seems like a tool.
11/17 vs. Detroit Pistons: Andre Drummond accidentally hits T.J. Leaf in the head with the ball while trying to shoot a free throw. Leaf is ok, but shaken up.
11/19 at Miami Heat: Kelly Olynyk trips over his own feet and also somehow sprains Cory Joseph’s ankle. He misses two to four weeks.
11/20 at Orlando Magic: Victor Oladipo and Elfrid Payton try to hug before the game, but…you know…the hair was in the way.
11/24 vs. Toronto Raptors: DeMar DeRozan misses a contested 19-footer, then felt disrespected and underrated when the announcer said that he missed.
11/25 vs. Boston Assets: Myles Turner dunks over three different unprotected draft picks. Celtics fans act very smug after the game.
11/27 vs. Orlando Magic: Frank Vogel mumbles something that sounds roughly like “take me back” when shaking Nate McMillan’s hand, but it’s too loud to know for sure.
11/29 at Houston Rockets: Chris Paul starts yelling at Darren Collison for missing defensive assignments, forgetting for a split second that they’re no longer teammates.
December
12/1 at Toronto Raptors: Bruno Caboclo misses a wide open dunk, but also somehow performs open heart surgery and delivers a newborn calf during the third quarter.
12/4 vs. New York Knicks: Tim Hardaway Jr. makes $219,512.20.
12/6 vs. Chicago Bulls: Pacers offer cash prizes for the fan that can name three Bulls players besides Dwyane Wade, and it takes a couple of minutes.
12/8 vs. Cleveland Cavaliers: The Cavs signed Jeff Green to a contract and are trying to win games.
12/10 vs. Denver Nuggets: Nikola Jokic passes the ball through Thaddeus Young‘s soul, but Jameer Nelson misses the layup.
12/13 vs. Oklahoma City Thunder: Just another game, really.
12/15 vs. Detroit Pistons: Stan Van Gundy delays the start of the game after somehow getting mustard all over the ball.
12/17 at Brooklyn Nets: Jeremy Lin tricks several Pacers players by styling his hair to look exactly like Victor Oladipo. He has seven steals.
12/18 vs. Boston Assets: Jae Crowder strangely refuses to shoot at all. A few people heard him muttering, “Why don’t you ask your new best friend Gordon to shoot?”
More from 8 Points, 9 Seconds
- Pacers’ Daniel Theis dominated Team USA in Germany’s semifinal win
- 3 Players who could beat out Tyrese Haliburton for 2024 USA Olympics
- Pacers’ Tyrese Haliburton takes step back in Team USA loss to Germany
- Pacers fans get angry at Tyrese Haliburton’s NBA 2K24 rating reveal
- Pacers star Tyrese Haliburton unveils lofty goal with Team USA
12/20 at Atlanta Hawks: Two Chainz daps up Myles Turner before tip, instantly becoming the most consequential event to come out of this game.
12/23 vs. Brooklyn Nets: Just about the closest the Pacers will get to a Christmas Day game.
12/26 at Detroit Pistons: Actually the closest the Pacers will get to a Christmas Day game.
12/27 vs. Dallas Mavericks: Dirk Nowitzki brings his new bike to the game. It’s pretty cool.
12/29 at Chicago Bulls: Denzel Valentine has to leave the game early to celebrate his 59th birthday.
12/31 vs. Minnesota Timberwolves: Tom Thibodeau’s lips accidentally collide with a basketball at the exact stroke of midnight, and the arena explodes from the symbolism.
January
1/3 at Milwaukee Bucks: Giannis Antetokounmpo plays all five positions throughout the game and also sells beer brats on the second level concourse at halftime.
1/6 at Chicago Bulls: Denzel Valentine’s game suffers due to his sudden interest in eating dinner very early and being too invested in Wheel of Fortune.
1/8 vs. Milwaukee Bucks: Matthew Dellavedova gets in a fight with a Jack Russell terrier that was tied up outside the Fieldhouse, but to be fair, the dog was absolutely asking for it.
1/10 vs. Miami Heat: Erik Spoelstra attaches some sunglasses to an old broom and somehow gets eight points a game and solid pick-and-roll defense out of it.
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Behind the Buck Pass
1/12 vs. Cleveland Cavaliers: No, seriously. Jeff Green.
1/14 at Phoenix Suns: Half of the Suns starting lineup has no way to get to the arena because they haven’t gotten their learner’s permits yet and their rides bailed on them.
1/15 at Utah Jazz: Domantas Sabonis flubs a couple possessions, which costs the Pacers the win since each team only has 10 all game.
1/18 at Portland Trail Blazers: Jusuf Nurkic is ejected for breaking a glass bottle over the rim and brandishing it at Al Jefferson. Pacers win by default.
1/19 at Los Angeles Lakers: The most popular jersey in the Staples Center is a homemade LeBron James jersey.
1/21 at San Antonio Spurs: Gregg Popovich takes that old broom from the Heat and turns him into an eight-time All-Star. Pacers lose.
1/24 vs. Phoenix Suns: Devin Booker scores 60 points while playing 2k on the bench, forgets about the real game.
1/26 at Cleveland Cavaliers: No, you’re thinking of the right Jeff Green. I know. You’re right, that is stupid.
1/27 vs. Orlando Magic: In an attempt to switch up the rotation, Frank Vogel starts Aaron Gordon’s drone from last year’s dunk contest at small forward. It goes better than you might think.
1/29 vs. Charlotte Hornets: Malik Monk is wide open, he says.
1/31 vs. Memphis Grizzlies: It’s surprisingly hard to come up with jokes about the Grizzlies.
February
2/2 at Charlotte Hornets: Frank Kaminsky tries his best, and we should all keep that in mind.
2/3 vs. Philadelphia 76ers: Joel Embiid thinks the word process and somehow his thought gets 10,000 retweets.
2/5 vs. Washington Wizards: The Wizards try to beef up their bench by signing a wizened old man named Herb. He’s got some run, but his jumper needs work.
2/7 at New Orleans Pelicans: Herb is traded to the Pelicans and is immediately the best small forward on the roster, despite being 4-foot-11 and shrinking by the second.
2/9 at Boston Assets: Franchise cornerstone Terry Rozier has an alright game. Celtics fans begin drawing up schematics for his statue.
2/11 vs. New York Knicks: Did this stop being entertaining like 25 games ago?
2/14 at Brooklyn Nets: I’m in too deep now, I gotta keep going.
2/23 vs. Atlanta Hawks: The Hawks Twitter account has the perfect balance of self-deprecation and wit when summarizing another Hawks loss.
March
3/2 at Milwaukee Bucks: Giannis dunks on Glenn Robinson III after taking off from Kenosha.
3/4 at Washington Wizards: Bojan Bogdanovic, miffed by the absence of a tribute video after his three months of service to the Wizards, drops 34 points, including a game winner.
3/5 vs. Milwaukee Bucks: Thon Maker and Al Jefferson bond over being the same age (I know it’s a lazy joke but I’m 65 games in).
3/7 vs. Utah Jazz: Rudy Gobert blocks a pre-game high five between two fans in the upper level.
3/9 vs. Atlanta Hawks: John Collins gets a pass for the game winner, but before he can let it fly, he’s sent back to 1991 where he and his skillset are originally from.
3/11 at Boston Assets: Isaiah Thomas misses the game because he’s transformed back into the 2/3 life size action figure that he always actually was.
3/13 Philadelphia 76ers: Ben Simmons is bad at shooting.
3/15 vs. Toronto Raptors: Masai Ujiri is so desperate that he starts asking spectators if they have a competitive package for Jonas Valunciunas.
More from Pacers News
- Pacers’ Daniel Theis dominated Team USA in Germany’s semifinal win
- 3 Players who could beat out Tyrese Haliburton for 2024 USA Olympics
- Pacers’ Tyrese Haliburton takes step back in Team USA loss to Germany
- Pacers fans get angry at Tyrese Haliburton’s NBA 2K24 rating reveal
- Pacers star Tyrese Haliburton unveils lofty goal with Team USA
3/17 at Washington Wizards: Scott Brooks wears his nice glasses, but no one notices. It’s not like his feelings are hurt or anything. I mean they’re just glasses, but also like he doesn’t wear them that often. Are people even paying attention? Would it kill anyone to say, “looking sharp, Scott”? Why does he always have to be his own cheerleader?
3/19 vs. Los Angeles Lakers: Popeye Jones sets up a small fan on the Pacers bench that blows Brandon Ingram out of Bankers Life. Pacers win.
3/23 vs. Los Angeles Clippers: Doc Rivers is caught watching old episodes of One Tree Hill on his phone during the third quarter.
3/25 vs. Miami Heat: Pat Riley decides to complete the ensemble and slowly pets a white cat throughout the game.
3/27 at Golden State Warriors: Easy win for the Pacers.
3/29 at Sacramento Kings: A security official almost ejects a man for chain-smoking in the arena before realizing that it’s Vlade Divac.
April
4/1 at Los Angeles Clippers: Doc Rivers is caught watching old episodes of Dawson’s Creek on his phone during the third quarter.
4/3 at Denver Nuggets: Mike Malone switches to a 19-man rotation in order to play all of his young guys.
4/5 vs. Golden State Warriors: Pacers sit their starters and still win by 18.
4/6 at Toronto Raptors: Norman Powell is successfully the first cool “Norman” in recorded history.
4/8 at Charlotte Hornets: Michael Carter-Williams attempts to predict the next team that will take a chance on him for no discernible reason.
4/10 vs. Charlotte Hornets: His guess is the Knicks.
Wow. That was a marathon. I’d say I gave it my best effort, but there was a big stretch in February where I definitely phoned it in if I’m being honest.
Next: Pacers schedule breakdown
Make sure to keep checking back here for more detailed and possibly more serious breakdowns of every game throughout the season.