Post-Game Grades: Historic Paul George Heroics Aren't Quite Enough to Beat Portland

So there’s this player in the National Basketball Association named Paul George, right? And tonight his team couldn’t play defense in the second half which is weird because normally they’re, like, a historically great defensive team but he didn’t really care too many times about all that so instead he was just all “I’m going to make every shot ever in the history of shooting and maybe that will work out good for me and my teammates, OK? Yeah. I think I’ll try that.” So that’s what he did even though his team kept fouling and the other team kept making all its foul shots and the result was 61 second-half points for the opponents, who were from Portland or somewhere they have beards and good beer and great basketball players, and as the aforementioned words said, it was weird because that type of being all scored against stuff never ever really happens to Paul George and his teammates in the year of the lord two thousand and thirteen but rather than be all sad and cry about something strange happening on a random night in December this guy named Paul George was just thinking, “Well, hey, what if I make something even stranger happen? That’s allowed, right? Like, what if they keep scoring two points at a time and I instead just make three points happen every chance we have to have the ball? I’m not world-class when it comes to this math stuff, but I am world class at this basketball thing — as in, there might only be like three or four dudes walking this earth better than me — so maybe if I just make every shot that ever takes place we can still win anyway. It could be a good strategy.” And that’s exactly what he did. It didn’t end up working out because other things also happened, but really who cares? Because now Paul George is not just a player in the National Basketball Association, he is Paul George. And everybody now knows that he is Paul George and they are all afraid. Oh so very afraid.

Here is how each guy played individually tonight. Agree? Disagree? Express your thoughts below in the comments or yell at Jared (@8pts9secs) or Tim (@TimDonahue8p9s) on Twitter.

Did his thing on occasion, but looked a bit tired on a back to back and mighty frustrated as Mighty LaMarcus took him to the woodshed again and again.

Paul George, SF

38 MIN | 16-30 FG | 4-4 FT | 3 REB | 3 AST | 3 STL | 0 BLK | 3 TO | 43 PTS | -1

Meh.

Roy Hibbert, C

37 MIN | 6-13 FG | 4-5 FT | 14 REB | 3 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 3 TO | 16 PTS | +1

Took a few shots to the nuts literally and figuratively, and missed some 50/50 cheapies. I’m sure he’ll want some blame for the porous interior defense late, but he wasn’t so different than normal. I’ll have to watch some tape, but it looked like the perimeter guys, and West with LMA, were just having trouble with some Blazers who were playing great.

George Hill, PG

41 MIN | 1-8 FG | 3-4 FT | 2 REB | 11 AST | 3 STL | 0 BLK | 2 TO | 6 PTS | +3

Could have used some more points, but he finished with a Brinks truck full of dimes. Still, 1-for-8 aint right.

Lance Stephenson, SG

29 MIN | 1-3 FG | 0-0 FT | 4 REB | 2 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 3 TO | 2 PTS | -5

Quite awful.

Was scorching early, but didn’t do anything after the break.

Solomon Hill, SF

5 MIN | 0-0 FG | 0-0 FT | 0 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 0 PTS | +3

Didn’t realize he was on the court.

Ian Mahinmi, C

11 MIN | 0-0 FG | 0-0 FT | 4 REB | 0 AST | 0 STL | 0 BLK | 0 TO | 0 PTS | -5

Fouls ‘R Us.

C.J. Watson, PG

18 MIN | 3-7 FG | 4-4 FT | 1 REB | 0 AST | 1 STL | 0 BLK | 1 TO | 10 PTS | -13

Still reluctant to take some shots, but drilled a few big ones as well and had a fantastic hustle play to get a steal then later save the ball on the same possession. 10 points is a nice contribution.

Orlando Johnson, SG

13 MIN | 1-3 FG | 0-0 FT | 1 REB | 1 AST | 0 STL | 1 BLK | 0 TO | 3 PTS | +1

OK.

Chris Copeland, SF

DNP COACH’S DECISION MIN | FG | FT | REB | AST | STL | BLK | TO | PTS |

He really liked Paul George’s dunk.