The Many Faces of Indiana Pacers Misery

The Pacers have lost five of their past six games, losing by 11, 12, 13, 14, and 26 points, respectively. Maybe the most disappointing fact of last night’s loss to the Spurs is that they didn’t lose by 15, since it would have been so much more nice and tidy if they could just keep losing each game by one more point than their last loss. They could at least become a Jeopardy! question if they kept that up the rest of the year.

Really, neato factoids of this ilk seem to be about all the Pacers have to look forward to at this point. Because the team is kneedeep in melancholy. David West is throwing around the world “downtrodden” while Roy Hibbert is resorting to snark and jokes when asked to explain the team’s problems.

This is all they have now. The whole team is in a funk and nobody seems to know why. They are just as perplexed as all the Pacers’ writers and fans are. Seriously, how does a turn go from being so dominant to being so dismal?

You want to know how bad has it gotten for the Pacers: Roy Hibbert can’t even clothe himself properly anymore.

“We’ve been in a downward spiral and we’ve been splintering a little bit,” Roy Hibbert said as he worked on a button his shirt sleeve. “I don’t know. I can’t even get this button on, to tell you the truth.”

We can continue to try to analyze #TheStruggle — and, don’t worry, we will — but there is probably nothing that can sum it up better than the looks we saw on the players’ faces last night when Fox Sports Indiana panned across the bench.

Which brings us to everyone’s favorite game: Who Wore It Best — Pacers Misery Face Edition.

Let’s break it down to find a winner.

Paul George

PG

Paul George is a man contemplating existence. He seems to be, at the same time, wondering why his basketball team is so bad and why nation states continue to go to war? Are these phenomenas related? Is an open midrange jumpshot better than a semi-contested corner three? Where is Syria? Does Nike make depleted uranium sneakers? Would Phil Jackson want me to read Nietzsche or Vonnegut?

Lance Stephenson & Evan Turner

Lance

Here we have Lance Stephenson staring at somebody like, “I know that lamp didn’t break itself and how many times did I tell you not to play ball in the house.”

Evan Turner is all, “La la la la la, I can’t hear you, sorry, what was that, oh excuse me, no no no don’t worry I’ll hit you up later but actually I have to go pick my dog up at the airport.”

Roy Hibbert & Luis Scola

Roy

Roy Hibbert huffs ether.

Luis Scola wonders what his life would be like if he had actually been able to play with his buddy Manu Ginobli on the Spurs after they drafted him. How many rings would he have? Would Cristina Fernández de Kirchner invite him to fancy galas? Would the Argentine peso have fallen so far? Could he have helped ease tensions over Malvinas sovereignty?

David West & George Hill

In an affliction that strikes one in 23 million men each year, George Hill just spontaneously forgot how to read.

David West is rethinking his decision to invite his girlfriend over to Thanksgiving at his grandma’s house. They haven’t even met yet. He really thinks his family is going to love her and he’s excited for them all to meet, but there might just be too much pressure on the holiday.

Frank Vogel

Vogel

This image of the coach is actually from the Pacers’ lose to the Cavaliers on Sunday, but it seems to be the most fitting visual representation of what it is now like to watch this team play offense.

That’s my pick anyway: Frank Vogel.

Who you got?

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