What are the most bizarre moments of Lance Stephenson’s career? Kevin Kaspar ranks the best and worst of them.
Lance Stephenson is an enigma, unlike anything the NBA has seen before. He’s brash, unfiltered, and plays a unique brand of basketball that often gets the internet buzzing. But which Born Ready moment is Stephenson’s crowning jewel? Here’s the official power ranking of Lance Stephenson’s most absurd moments with the Indiana Pacers, as well as his other NBA stops.
Lance Stephenson flew under the radar for the first year two years of his NBA career. He rarely saw the court except in garbage time and spent most of his time riding the pine.
That all changed on May 17th, 2012.
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It was Game 3 of the Pacers’ Eastern Conference Semi-Finals versus the Miami Heat. LeBron James heads to the line to the shoot a free throw after a Danny Granger technical foul. James shoots; the ball kisses the front of the rim, swirls around the cylinder, and final pops out of the bucket. This would have been the end of it, but ESPN’s cameras caught Lance Stephenson taunting LeBron with the choke sign from the end of the bench.
The Pacers won that game to take a 2-1 series lead. When reporters asked James if he saw the taunting from Indiana’s bench, he only had this to say:
"“Lance Stephenson? You want a quote about Lance Stephenson?” James said after practice. “I’m not even going to give him the time. Knock it off.”"
Little did we know that day that the legend of Lance Stephenson was born. Stephenson would go on to become a fan favorite in Indiana for his aggressive play and outspoken personality. There have been countless times Lance makes waves on the internet for his game, (Sometimes good, sometimes bad), or for his antics. But which Lance moment is the all-time best? These are the unofficial official power ranking of Lance Stephenson’s greatest moments.
We’re ranking them on the stakes involved, absurdity factor, disrespect factor, reaction, and meme-ability for an overall score. For a breakdown of the methodology, as well as some footnotes, click here.
Honorable mention: Sir Lancelot
Stephenson had a career year during the 2013-14 season. He averaged13.8 points-per-game, 4.6 assists-per-game, and 7.2 rebounds-per-game. He was poised for his first all-star game and made a video making his claim. What could possibly make this better? He’s parodying himself in the video using an alter-ego; Sir Lancelot.
It’s a phenomenal video that we’ll be showing our children for years to come. However, I can’t include Born Ready’s YouTube debut in the power rankings in good conscience. Every other entry is a moment that happened on the court. Off-court submissions are ineligible.
#8: That time Lance slapped himself in the face
“I’m going to need to see that replay again…it’s almost like Stephenson slapped himself in the face.”
This quote from the Warriors TV crew is sublime. Stephenson (either inadvertently or very much on purpose) slaps himself in mouth while dodging a screen from Harrison Barnes. He promptly falls (or flops) to the ground, draws the offensive foul on Barnes, and takes his time getting up to really sell the flop. But no one is buying what Stephenson is selling.
Everyone involved is perplexed. The fans are confused; the announcers are confused; Steve Clifford is literally scratching his head because he is dumbfounded at what he just witnessed. Take a bow, Lance. You’ve earned it.
Stakes: 9/20
Absurdity: 12/20
Disrespect: 10/20
Reaction: 15/20
Meme-ability: 12/20
Final Score: 58/100
#7: The Derek Fisher incident
No, not THAT Derek Fisher incident. We’re talking about the time Lance Stephenson spawned out of thin air to steal D-Fish’s Thunder.
NBATV cameras were hoping to catch a glimpse of the New York Knicks head coach after a leading the team to a victory. Instead, the internet gets its daily dose of Lance Stephenson when he appears out of nowhere to steal the screen from Fisher.
Stephenson appeared instantaneously, and the internet found its new favorite gif. Unsurprisingly, Lance Stephenson thinks the gif is hilarious:
"“It was so funny,” he said. “Stuff happens during the game. I actually fell down right there, and they happened to have the camera right on Derek Fisher, and I just popped up.”"
This gif has the highest meme power of anything on this list1. It’s funny, widely applicable in meme-worthy situations, and one of the few highlights of Stephenson’s stay with the Hornets2.
Stakes: 10/20
Disrespect: 5/20
Absurd: 12/20
Reaction: 10/20
Meme-ability: 20/20
Final Score: 57/100
T-5: Lance and Carmelo Anthony get caught up
Maybe a bit of recency bias here but Lance and Melo’s most recent outing stirred the internet ever so slightly. With the 3rd quarter coming to a close;
Anthony posted up Stephenson for what should’ve been an easy bucket. Lance hacks Melo to prevent the bucket. After the foul, both players crashed to the floor and somehow ended up like this.
Anthony and Stephenson intertwined like a fresh Auntie Anne’s pretzel at the mall. It is unclear whether they were merely trying to squeeze in a game of Twister before the 4th quarter.
Stakes: 14/20
Absurdity Factor: 13/20
Disrespect Factor:13/20
Reaction:10/20
Meme-ability: 16/20
Final Score: 66/100
T-5: Born Ready posterizes a referee
We take a quick aside from Stephenson’s greatest hits and examine a deep cut.
Indiana is playing a regular season game against the visiting Brooklyn Nets. Stephenson has the ball on the perimeter when Roy Hibbert gets called for an offensive foul. The play is blown dead before Lance attacks the rim but an official’s whistle has never stopped him before. With an official square under the hoop, Stephenson launches himself out of Bankers Life Fieldhouse and orbits the moon twice before returning to earth to put this unfortunate referee on a poster.
What makes this an all-time Born Ready moment is how Stephenson comports himself throughout the play. He can clearly see the official in his path and decides to jam on him anyway. Bonus points for grabbing at the official’s head. Double bonus points for staring back at him after the dunk. The whole thing is downright rude.
Stephanie Tanner would be disappointed, but I am here for it.
Absurd? Absolutely. Disrespectful? Certainly. However, this one scores low due to it being a regular season game, the tame reaction from the official3, and minimal meme-ability.
A fun trip down memory lane nonetheless.
Stakes: 12/20
Absurdity: 17/20
Disrespect Factor: 17/20
Reaction: 10/20
Meme-ability: 10/20
Final Score: 66/100
#4: The LeBron Chin Tap
It was game six of the 2014 Eastern Conference Finals. The Indiana Pacers were facing elimination and needed a miracle to send the series to a game seven. The Pacers looked sluggish from the start and needed a momentum-changing play to spark a run…and Lance gave them this.
Stephenson approached a laser-focused LeBron James and gave the superstar forward a tap on the chin. For a moment, James looks stunned, unsure of his surroundings and trying to piece together a puzzle that doesn’t fit. After LeBron processes the situation, he approached Lance like it was high noon at recess in grade school and Lance stole his lunch money.
James was ready for a fight. Rather than punking Lance Stephenson in a fist fight, LeBron instead used that energy to annihilate Pacers fans hopes and dreams4 by leading Miami to a 25-point victory.
Stakes: 20/20
Absurdity: 15/20
Disrespect: 15/20
Reaction: 16/20
Meme-ability: 10/20
Final Score: 76/100
#3: When Lance broke Courtney Lee’s ankles and danced on his grave
This one is a nice basketball play with a sprinkle of absurdity on the side. NBA fans might remember that Lance Stephenson led the NBA in triple-doubles in the 2013-14 season5. Lance goes to his left, hits the spin cycle, attacks to his right, and then crosses Courtney Lee into another dimension before hitting a step back, pull-up jump shot. The move is so smooth, and the dance after the bucket is so pure.
Bonus points are awarded because this play kick-started the “Lance a’ make em dance,” era in Pacers Twitter. There’s only one word that comes to mind when you see that hip shimmy: iconic.
Quinn Buckner said it best; “That’s Lance.”
Stakes: 12/20
Absurdity: 15/20
Disrespect: 17/20
Reaction: 16/20
Meme-ability: 17/20
Final Score = 77/100
#2: The ole’ flop-n-nap combo
Lance Stephenson may be a nice ball player but he’s also a “born ready” salesman. Lance is S-E-L-L-I-N-G this flop. Stephenson inadvertently runs into LeBron James while getting back on defense, throws his arms upon contact, and hurls his body backward to draw a foul on James. It’s an admirable thing try and get James in foul trouble; it just never works. Stephenson gets called for a blocking foul and decides to rest his eyes for a second near half court.
Lucky for the internet, ESPN’s cameras caught Lance peeking his eyes at just the right time. It’s like when you’re a kid trying to fake sleeping when your mom comes in to check on you. If it works, then you stay up late. If it doesn’t work, well at least you tried.
Stakes: 17/20
Absurdity: 17/20
Disrespect: 16/20
Reaction: 15/20
Meme-ability: 17/20
Final score: 82
#1: Lance blows in LeBron’s ear
There is so much to unpack here. 1). This happened in the middle of the 2014 Eastern Conference Finals, points for stakes. The Pacers are playing the Heat for the third straight year in the postseason. More points. Indiana played the regular season publically stating they want the number one seed in the East to gain the upper hand on LeBron. Give me all the damn points.
2). Lance and LeBron just don’t like each other. Their disdain for one another started with the choking incident in 2012. Ever since the one-sided rivalry has been a petty war6 of escalation. n this particular game, Stephenson was feeling himself. The video starts with the infamous ear-blowing incident, but Sir Lanc-e-lot had established himself as the resident pain in LeBron James’ ass all game long7.
Blowing in the ear of arguably the greatest player of all-time8 is unequivocally the most absurd thing that’s happened in a basketball game. Not to mention LeBron’s reaction is A1 and sets the whole thing over the top. Its the combination of “WTF!” + “Are you serious?” + “Do you know who I am?” + “Did this dude really just do this?” from James that makes this meme second to none.
Stakes: 20/20
Absurdity: 20/20
Disrespect: 17/20
Reaction: 17/20
Meme-ability: 19/20
Final Score : 93/100
Next: Damn it feels good to be Kevin Pritchard
Think we missed a great moment in Lance-ness? Let us know on Twitter at @KevinMKaspar and @8pts9secs.
Footnotes
1: This is the first search result from Giphy when you enter “Lance Stephenson.”
2: Stephenson averaged 8.2 points, 4.5 rebounds, and 3.9 assists per game in 61 appearances with Charlotte.
3: To this day, I still don’t understand how Lance wasn’t ejected from the game. Or at the very least given a technical. A tip of the hat to #14 for remaining calm and acting like nothing happened. Who knows what would’ve happened if this were Scott Foster, Joey Crawford, or Marc Davis.
4: This happens a lot. The Pacers have been eliminated by a LeBron James‘ led team four times in their last six playoff appearances.
5: It’s comforting to remember a time when basketball cyborgs named Russell Westbrook weren’t churning out triple-doubles like clockwork.
6: #PETTYWARZ is a movement in the NBA Twitter community. The commander-and-cheif of #pettywarz is “His Grace of Pettiness,” @World_Wide_Wob
7: See Lance Stephenson listening in on the Miami huddle at the 0:27 marker of the same video. Such a veteran move that oozes pettiness.
8: For the Michael Jordan truthers ready to throw hands; I SAID “ARGUABLY!”
9: This is an entirely made up statistic.
10: Watch the end of the play. Dudely is so pissed off that he gets up from the floor, scoops up the ball, and hurls it at Shaq. The cherry on top of the whole thing is the camera catches Dudley shouting, “F*CK YOU!” at Shaq. The entire thing is so absurd, and I love it so much.
Methodology
Before we get to Lance Stephenson’s greatest hits, we must identify a method to the madness. Every Lance Stephenson meme or gif has five core themes that feed into it; Stakes of the Game, Absurdity Factor, Disrespect Factor, Opponent’s Reaction, and Meme-ability. Each factor will be graded on a scale of 1-20, meaning the highest possible score is a 100.
Here’s more information on each of five elements being ranked. Feel free to skip this and get into the rankings.
Stakes of the game
How important was the game in which the event took place? Were the Pacers contending for a championship or did Lance see garbage with the Clippers? Consider a rating of 20 the equivalent to a Game 7 of the NBA and a 1 as a pickup game at noon at your local park.
Absurdity Factor
Creativity is key here. Lance Stephenson is the outright king of thinking of the most bizarre ways to piss off the other team.
Disrespect Factor
Success in the NBA is 50% skill, 10% teamwork, and 40% ability to get in the opponents head9. There is no better way to get under your opponents skin than to disrespect their skill, play style, status, anything really. Let Shaq dunking Chris Dudely be the basis for the most disrespectful play in NBA history10.
Reaction from everyone else
How did everyone not named Lance Stephenson react? For reference, this includes but is not limited to; opposing players, teammates, coaches, fans, referees, celebrities, play-by-play announcers, etc.
Meme-ability
This last one is a phrase I just made up so let me define it for you. How meme-worthy was the moment? Did NBA Twitter blow up or did it get lost in the shuffle? Longevity matters, folks.