Sweatin’ Bullets: Pacers Get Embarrassed in Game 5

It seemed like a good time for another edition of Sweatin’ Bullets considering the Bullets were definitely sweatin’ coming into Tuesday’s game.

Get it? Because the Wizards used to be called the Bullets

I don’t know, stick with me; I never come out the gate with my best stuff. I’m like the Indiana Pacers of bad jokes.

• The Wizards came out strong in the first two quarters partly because the Pacers’ uninspired defense couldn’t hope to contain Marcin Gortat (17 points, 11 rebounds in the half). Fortunately for the Pacers, if they can advance they shouldn’t see a center as offensively gifted as Gortat for the rest of the playoffs. There are a couple sentences I didn’t expect to write five months ago.

• The Pacers were outrebounded 32-11 in the first half. 62-23 for the game.

• Drew Gooden outrebounded Hibbert 9-2 in the game. So we’re back to that whole thing.

• Twenty minutes before the game I was still at the grocery store and there was one empty checkout counter still available. An older gentleman and I both spotted it at the same time. We both made our move. I had a head start, not to mention I was much younger and more athletic than the other guy, but he was so crafty and smart getting to the counter. He knew every trick in the book and somehow beat me to the checkout. He really caught me off guard. I know that doesn’t have anything to do with the game. I’m just surprised Andre Miller still made it to Banker’s Fieldhouse in time for tip-off.

• Some people say Lance Stephenson has great footwork, but I like to think that he just gets angry at the court and viscously attacks it with his feet.

• “You don’t HAVE to get it.” –the director of the Sprint Framily Plan commercials to Kevin Durant.

• Evan Turner is like a “create a player” from a video game that you forgot to give any skills.

• Trevor Ariza is only 28 years old, which is odd because I’m pretty sure I’ve watched him play in the NBA for about 17 years. Ariza started on a championship team before Paul George, John Wall, Bradley Beal, and Lance Stephenson were in the NBA. And Andre Miller was still in his mid fifties.

• It’s probably fair to say the Pacers lack a truly great one-on-one player, which is ironic considering they all seem to really hate things like passing and setting screens.

• Tracy Wolf reported that Gortat took his first check of $300,000 to his dad and said, “This is more than you made in your entire life.” I can’t imagine how much trash he’ll talk after the deal he’s going to get this summer. He finished with 31 points and 16 rebounds. He missed two shots.

• George took over Game 4 while Wall struggled. The script flipped pretty drastically in Game 5. Wall scored more in the third quarter (17) than George scored in the game (15). Wall finished with 27 points, 5 rebounds and 5 assists.

• Nene and Hibbert each only scored four points in game five. The “that won’t happen again” logic only reasonably applies to Nene.

• Not letting the other team triple your rebound total will be a key to Game 6.

• The possibility that Frank Underwood made some sort of deal with Frank Vogel is not entirely impossible. Evan Turner did get 18 minutes in Game 5. Smells like foul play to me.